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Another last day…

Last day as a school going kid. Last day as a teenager. Last day as a nonchalant unaffected come-what-may college girl. Last day being single. And now last day as a working IT professional. These last days are really something aren’t they?? Some last days are inevitable. You are bound to face your last day as a teenager someday. You are bound to ‘live’ your last day in the world someday. But certain other last days are forced on us. Like my last day at college when they literally had to drag me out of the hostel and throw me out. I even regretted back then that I didn’t have an arrear or two so that I could prolong college life for some more time. And then there are these last days that you make by choice. You think when you decide to let go of something out of your own will and choice, you will never regret it. You think it wouldn’t hurt at all. No, not one bit. But then, as I just found out, it does hurt. It does pain. You may just brush aside the nostalgia and memories that rush up like fizz on a cold drink, to a corner of the heart like rubbish being swept away, but leaving back a routine that you are so used to for two years at a stretch does seem to be daunting.

I key in my username and password to unlock the PC only to be reminded that this might be one of the last few times I’m typing in that password. This PC which I’ve cursed a zillion times for being the slowest stupidest thing on Earth doesn’t seem to be as slow or stupid any more. Now, it only seems to be one of my most faithful and loyal companions for over a year and a half. This PC on which I typed most of my blogs, snatching away chunks of time between work. This PC which has all my mail threads, some of which had me doubling up and going under the cubicle laughing, some of which had me reduced to tears. This PC which has seen me slogging away at bug fixes and bad code, muttering under my breath. Something heavy tugs at my heart when i realise that this will the last post i’m typing on this PC. This PC, the most important part of my work life for so long, will be formatted and wiped clean of all my memories tomorrow. Fresh for someone else to start a love-hate relationship with it. Sigh! If only the human memory was so editable and uncomplicated!!!

I run my eyes around my cubicle. My official work environment. A coffee mug, a few porcelain show pieces that came as birthday gifts, headphones, the PC with a stick-on magnet on the CPU that says ‘Of al the things I’ve lost, I missed my mind the most’, a voip phone. And me. My battleground where I’ve fought a thousand battles hour after hour, with bugs, issues, managers, back ache, stress, hunger, sleep, boredom, what not? I look up and see my name plate pinned to a corner of the cubicle. I make a mental note to somehow flick it when I leave home today. As a souvenir from my cubicle.

I wander aimlessly around the office building. I pass the library where I spent all my time during the bench period reading The Week and Outlook. Walked through the cafeteria whose walls resonate with the sound of endless cups of coffee, gossips, cricket matches and friendly table tennis games. Paused for a few seconds at the no-smoking zone from where I’ve had verbal shout fights over the phone with mom. Looked wistfully at the parking lot where I’ve argued countless number of times with the security over scratches on my bike. Then I thought of the few but precious friends I had made at work. All the fun, laughter, banter, chat conversations, eat-outs, birthday celebrations, treats, weddings… Only when I’m leaving I realize that I haven’t really had a miserable time here. Yes, I hated the work, but had grown to love the place and people over the years. Amidst all the professional back stabbing, mind numbing work and a thousand other negatives I could come up with, I had settled into a comfortable and comforting routine with the work and the workplace that I was getting reluctant to let go of it now. But all things, good or bad, do come to an end. And so does the Software Engineer chapter in my life.

Another last day has come.

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