1) Red pant and yellow shirt. Blue pant and yellow shirt. Yellow shirt with anything. Period.
2) Hero introduction song featuring sickles/painted potbellies/pierced navels of out-of-work heroines/directors cum dance masters/hero’s son.
3) Switzerland/Chiffon sarees.
4) Directors in cameos like paalkaaran, pichakaaran, velaikaaran, car driver, etc.
5) Lyrics like sexy-baby-shake-your-body in item songs. Make that any wannabe rap lyrics in item songs. Make that any rap lyrics in any song. Thank you.
6) Heroines falling down from scooter/ladder/staircase/perfectly non-slippery floor and hero falling on top of her.
7) Transgenders doing seductive moves or the usual kuthadi-kuthadi-sailaka in a circle.
8 ) One blow. Ten people. Four directions. Flying.
9) Heroine slapping hero. Hero slapping heroine. Love coming. Duet singing.
10) 30+ years old heroes as college students. 40+ years old comedians as their friends.
11) Titles like Sivakasi, Thirupaachi, Thiruthani, Thiruvannaamalai, Koyambedu, Vadapalani. You get the drift right?
12) Punch dialogues. (Exception: Superstar)
13) Shriya Saran or any other 18 plus, opposite Rajni, Kamal, Sarath, Gabtun or any other 50 plus.
14) Jyothika style 100-expressions-per-minute = acting.
15) Ravi Krishna style block-of-wood = acting. Wait, I don’t want to see Ravi Krishna itself on screen hereafter. Please. *Shudders on recollecting his earlier films*
16) Amma/appa/akka/thangachi/maama/machan/purushan/pondaati/nanban sentiment songs. Phew!
17) Amman movies.
18) ‘Pei/aavi inside small child’s body’ movies.
19) Rain fights. And rain songs. What? The men are all going to boycott my blog? Ok, I give up. Only rain fights. Hmph.
20) Gabtun singing Amul baby kind of songs in phoren, chi, foreign locations. *Falls on the floor, begs and weeps*
21) Heroines/heroes suffering from cancer/brain tumor.
22) Naataamai scenes. Naataamai comedy scenes.
23) Kids talking beyond their age, like 50 year old thaatha paatis.
24) Telugu, Malayalam, Kannada, Hindi movies remade in Thamizh. Oh, then we wouldn’t have any movies made at all here? Sigh, I take that back.
25) Girlfriend/Boyfriend/Any friend singing horrible melody song in jam packed railway stations, bus stands, football stadiums, etc to locate the other Girlfriend/Boyfriend/Any friend.
P.S. Please feel free to add your lets-please-get-rid-of-these-too items in the comments section. Nandri.Vanakkam.
Ha ha ha..Hilarious!! 😀
Completely agree with them all!!
Coupla my own i would like to add!!
1. no irritatingly childish heroines talking in baby language and being totally immature and heroes finding that adorable. Give women some credit man!!
for eg: Genelia, mmm..Genelia and oh did i mention Genelia?
2. Women’s “idippu”, thighs etc is NOT EQUAL to sexy. especially if the idippu/thighs belong to women the magnitude (the word “size” seems too small) of Namitha, Mumtaz etc.
Will add more as and when I think of them!! 😉
//Ravi Krishna style block-of-wood = acting
Ahhh. no. i would rephrase that if i were you
Ravi Krishna = BLOCK OF WOOD
or i think that would be crditing RK with entirely too much of emotions and acting.
(I am reminded of ulagathil yetthanai penn ulladhu!! 😀 :D)
😛
too good.
not to forget,
1.Thaadi vecha heros with “en-thaai-pathini-da” kinda stale looks.
2. Nativity.Movies like naadodigal, pasanga and the likes which are over-rated just for their nativity. one critic went too far and said naadodigal is post-modernist tale. post modernism? nadodgal? my foot.
3. titles. chinna thalabathi barath mirratum, illaya thamilan sri gaaanth pirikkum…
4. Mr.Kalaingar karunanidhi kathai vasanathil “pen singam” “uliyin osai” “paasa paravaigal” and the likes
5. Hero educating women on culture. “oru ponnu na…..”
stopping here for others to continue. 🙂
Vijayakath saving India from Terrorist
Vishal fighting as soon as he come out of bus
Vijay coming to Chennai and cleaning out the rowdies(instead he can clean marine beach)
.
.
.
.
BTW,do you think a tamil film can be made without any of these?
Here is a challange,name a tamil movie with out any of these?
I disagee with the comments on Pasanga,that was one of the rare movie that has captured the childrens world in a very postive way.I do agree that Nadodigal was over rated
ha ha ha…:)…super amilie.
let me add few more.
1) no close up scenes for Prabhu(sorry saar…top 2 Bottom Sam Circumference), generally for huge people…:)
– To avoid ppl sitting in front row getting neck pains as they
need to pan their heads from left to right to see the huge image :P.
Some ppl bcom unconscious shouting “poochandi”.
2) no wig for actors(Exception Superstar)…hmmm even actress- Hats off 🙂
3) no girru durru burru lyrics in songs, only meaningful ones.
Kavithuvama eluthungo na, atleast simple.
4) no sequels for mokka films with mokka actors , naan avan illai – naan avan illai -2
5) no beep sounds in movie…either cut that scene or do not censor it. Almost everyone guess it correctly, if not ppl do permutation and combinations n try “appadi irukomo…ippadi irukoma…eppadi irukoma”…:)
Subham…:)
good one!!!
adding to the list –
1. reviving the dead by praying to god/singing family song/ezhundhuru anjali ezhundhuru stuff..
2. bad guys die in a jiffy but hero can travel from kanyakumari to kashmir despite being wounded by a knife or shot with a gun!
Thanks guys for some hilarious ROFL comments 🙂
@ Revs
How dare you talk about the ‘magnitude’ of Namitha? Tamil Nade pongi elundhirum 😀 😀 And not only Namitha man. The entire idea of using these huge rotund masses of flesh as oomph factors is sickening to say the least.
And about Ravi K, sigh, I only have one thing more to say. Let’s not insult wood any more 😛
@ amazwi
I agree with most of your points. Especially, the title part. Adhula vera seems Simbu has now grown into ‘Young Superstar’ from ‘Little Superstar’ :O Horrors!!!
@ Dhanasekar
🙂 I was referring to overall scenes and situations whereas you have been more specific naming actors n all. But i do agree that Vijay and Gabtun alone account for all these cliches in almost all their movies.
And c’mon, SO MANY movies have been made earlier and are being made now defying all such cliches. Like the early works of Sridhar, K Balachander, Mahendran, Balu Mahendra and now recently, Ameer, Bala, Sasi, Selva… The list is long but these people are definitely outnumbered by the other gangs that churn out one masala potboiler after the other. If you ask me to name one partcular movie in specific, without all these, I would say Anbe Sivam. That was a really well madfe movie sans the usual cliched mind numbing stuff.
Thanks for the views!!
@ RK
ROFL ROFL ROFL. I rally couldn’t stop laughing at your comments RK 😀 😀 Full form la dhaan iruka po.. Yenna irundhaalum ni critic illaya!! And do come back and pen down more here as and when you remember them. Future padichu rasichu sirikalaam 🙂 🙂
@ Nithya
Hey you! 🙂 Completely with you on the reviving dead part. Another done-to-death thing is the hero bashing part. Hero gets beaten up by 10 goondas, is almost dead, heroin cries/motivates/yells hero’s name into his ear 20 times, hero opens eyes (close up shot of blood shot eyes is a MUST here), bashes up all the goondas, emerges victorious. Sabba!!!
I wish to ban the following:
1. Vijaykanth should not talk in English in his movies. Venam aluthuruven 😛
2. Vijay should not talk punch dialogues. If possible Vijay shud stop acting 😉
3. Perarasu should not write lyrics for songs in his movie.
4. Directors like S.J.Surya,Cheran etc should only direct movies and not act. Engalala mudiyala… Pls.
5. No close up shots for old heroes and also no close up shot for heroines who do not know tamil(bcoz the lip sync goes absolutely ****ing).
6. Request to all directors – Please do not make fun of urself by doing junk graphics in movies.
7. Do not show smoking or drinking scenes in the screen. There is no use in showing such scenes and adding a warning in right corner of the screen.
8. Haris jayaraj sir, pls stop introducing new words in the songs like hasili pisili, omahaseeya… Or atleast tell from where the words originate and its proper meaning.
Amilie, few things i remembered so adding to the list…:)
1) no fans or aircoolers allowed in the shooting spot to avoid following scene.
“Paathiya”
“enna paathiya”
“ennoda ***** paathiya”
“illa,no i was just reading”
Again, fan is switched on
“hey,paathiya”
“illa”
“poi sollatha”
Ippadiya paadhi padam ottiyachu…enna koduma surya sir…:)
2) no more RJ suchitra’s voice should be dubbed for heroine.
Instead ask that heroine to have “theertham” previous night then do dubbing next morning to get sam suchi pheel…:)
3) no more saying “A film by $#$#@#$@” in credits – Producer maradhitinglae.
Instead say “A film by producer n family” or financiers name like
A film by
lal saet
sharma
sowcarpet dada
don
chetan bhagat (pls include his name in credits ..:))
Subham….:)
Great comments, also i want this scene to be banned from Tamil movies:
There will be atleast one scene of hero & heroine travelling in a bus. Be it a song or a scene. Cant this be stopped?